PRIDE: Celebrating My Truth
As Pride Month comes to a close, I just want to reflect on what this month means to me.
I always look forward to Pride Month, ever since I got to experience it firsthand the Summer before my freshman year of college. My first Pride was with my ex-girlfriend. We wore matching “Hers” T-Shirts with arrows pointing at each other and participated in the Pride March in Fort Wayne. Holding hands so publicly, engaging in PDA without fear, and just being able to celebrate my queerness was powerful for me. I didn’t want the feeling of empowerment to end.
Fast forward to last year when I heard rumblings of the first Black Pride in Fort Wayne. I searched, Googled, and scrolled through social media to find the details. Once I found the Fort Wayne Black Pride Facebook page and saw the agenda posted, I knew immediately I was going to attend as many events as possible. Black Pride Fest in Kettler Park was incredible! Seeing so many Queer Black and Brown people celebrating together and cherishing a fest just for us brought tears to my eyes. It reminded me of all the times I contemplated my existence and if I was wrong for being myself. Black Pride was confirmation that God protected my younger self to make sure I would live to see this day. And I’m so glad I did.
This year, Pride Month of 2024, I hit the ground running. I worked tirelessly on getting materials for my brand, Queer Black Girl Poet, created and shipped for events I had later in the month. I used my voice to combat homophobia and pure ignorance on social media. I shared gay art, poetry, activism, and celebrations all over my stories and social feeds. I was also blessed with a few opportunities to educate Black youth on Queer identity and history in a way that was age-appropriate and comprehensive.
Later in the month, I participated in a poetry reading at Hyde Brothers Booksellers. Giving the audience a taste of my queerness and life journey. Many were moved to tears and felt inspired by my raw honesty. I was just as moved by them listening to my pain and allowing it to transform them.
Next, I set up shop at a local vendors fair, Southside Love Link-Up, to sell my books and promote my budding brand. Many people were glad I was speaking so openly about being a sexual assault survivor and many connections were made. I got the chance to speak to some high school cheerleaders about sexual assault and its effects. Many of them were unaware of sexual assault occurring in Queer spaces as well so I made sure to cover all my bases. I encouraged them to be safe and unashamed if they ever experienced this trauma. Each of them has my contact info and while I hope they are never sexually assaulted or violated, I am thankful they have at least one person they can call for support.
Lastly, later on this afternoon, I will be performing poetry at a Black Pride Brunch. I’ve decided to share some sensual, Queer, and liberating poetry for this event. It’s a variety of poetry that encompasses the complexity of Queer identity. I can’t wait to just celebrate Black queerness in company with other Black and Queer People of Color.
Happy Pride Month to ALL under this lovely Queer umbrella! And remember the celebrating happens all year long, this month is just the highlight ;)
*New poem on the Poems page
2024 Check-In
We’re a quarter of the way through the year already. That’s crazy to think about because I swear I was just celebrating the New Year yesterday, lol. But the few months of this year have been very productive so far. From events to event coordination, from writing new poetry to performing poetry live and in the studio, ya girl has been booked & busy. And there is still so much on the way!
While it’s great to have a busy schedule and a full plate, it’s also important for me to check-in with myself regularly to make sure I don’t get overwhelmed. I’m known for pouring EVERYTHING into other people’s cups and not pouring back into my own. Which is why I’ve gotten serious about my self-care and started journaling in the evening. It keeps me grounded. It gives me a true sense of peace.
Find your own sense of peace this year and work on your own self-care. It’s important!
New poem on the Poems page! :)
Survivorhood
It’s hard to believe it’s been 10 years. 17-year-old Breanna would be so proud of the Breanna I am today because I pulled myself out of the trenches of trauma. Sexual assault is a difficult trauma to discuss. It often makes people lose eye contact with you, stiffen up, and distance themselves from the conversation because of how deeply personal it is to those affected. But I want to change the discourse around sexual assault. It needs to be talked about AND received so that survivors are heard, seen, and understood. So, I am hosting an event titled ‘Survivorhood: A Celebration of Healing’ to recognize my recovery as well as honor the healing survivors of all kinds experience.
I hope to see you there!
Before and After
My original logo needed something. I loved it when I first got it and it was the face of my blog for three years, but I felt it needed something added to it. I thought about it for a few days and designed the changes I wanted. I thought about doing a complete re-vamp and just keeping the name in the logo. But after some more thought I knew I could keep the original design, it just needed some life added to it.
I reached out the the same graphic designer, located all the way in Pakistan, and asked her if she could make the changes. She was excited that I remembered her and was happy to make the updates. After adding a multi-layered skin tone, some hoops earrings, a lavender shirt, and removing the old tagline the logo became more vibrant.
Another before and after in my life that I’m proud of! May you reach your happier, better ‘after.’
Check out a poem from my pending-release Out of the Deep on the Poems page!
Logo designed by Fatima Sheikh, fatimasheikh164, fiverr.com
Thank God for Therapy
Timelines being lengthened. Deadlines passing by. Adjustment after adjustment after adjustment needing to be made. My heart rate is increasing as I write this because even thinking about my next book makes me anxious. I’m afraid of disappointing my readers, disappointing my family, disappointing myself, and really afraid of disappointment in general.
I put so much pressure on myself. An unhealthy coping mechanism I learned from childhood. This shit is deeply ingrained. Like, if I say I’m going to accomplish something by a certain time, I have to do it. Regardless of what life throws at me.
*Inhale…exhale*
Now, I’m leaning into my therapeutic coping mechanisms:
First of all, GIRL!, you were working 2 jobs and pulling 16 hour workdays for months in a row to make ends meet. You reworked your financial budget, cancelled your Mexico trip, and got serious about saving. You pay 1000% of your own shit. Rent, car note, electric, gas bill, etc. Everything! In a piss-poor economy where the price of gas, groceries, rent, is fucking skyrocketing. That’s some tough shit, yet you still do it.
Secondly, GIRL!, the past year has been rough. A lot of the content in this next book has to do with this past year. So, it’s understandable that some of it is hard to write about and some things may need to wait for another book. That is okay! There is plenty of writing to be done.
And lastly, GIRL!, you deal with mentally draining mental health diagnoses DAILY that make functioning through life difficult. You get out of bed, even when it feels like you can’t. You make shit happen, even when your mind only sees failure. Survivorhood looks good on you! And you will continue to push through.
*Inhale…exhale*
Thank God for therapy.
Photo by Stephen Harlan, @gogostevie