2024 Check-In
We’re a quarter of the way through the year already. That’s crazy to think about because I swear I was just celebrating the New Year yesterday, lol. But the few months of this year have been very productive so far. From events to event coordination, from writing new poetry to performing poetry live and in the studio, ya girl has been booked & busy. And there is still so much on the way!
While it’s great to have a busy schedule and a full plate, it’s also important for me to check-in with myself regularly to make sure I don’t get overwhelmed. I’m known for pouring EVERYTHING into other people’s cups and not pouring back into my own. Which is why I’ve gotten serious about my self-care and started journaling in the evening. It keeps me grounded. It gives me a true sense of peace.
Find your own sense of peace this year and work on your own self-care. It’s important!
New poem on the Poems page! :)
Survivorhood
It’s hard to believe it’s been 10 years. 17-year-old Breanna would be so proud of the Breanna I am today because I pulled myself out of the trenches of trauma. Sexual assault is a difficult trauma to discuss. It often makes people lose eye contact with you, stiffen up, and distance themselves from the conversation because of how deeply personal it is to those affected. But I want to change the discourse around sexual assault. It needs to be talked about AND received so that survivors are heard, seen, and understood. So, I am hosting an event titled ‘Survivorhood: A Celebration of Healing’ to recognize my recovery as well as honor the healing survivors of all kinds experience.
I hope to see you there!
Before and After
My original logo needed something. I loved it when I first got it and it was the face of my blog for three years, but I felt it needed something added to it. I thought about it for a few days and designed the changes I wanted. I thought about doing a complete re-vamp and just keeping the name in the logo. But after some more thought I knew I could keep the original design, it just needed some life added to it.
I reached out the the same graphic designer, located all the way in Pakistan, and asked her if she could make the changes. She was excited that I remembered her and was happy to make the updates. After adding a multi-layered skin tone, some hoops earrings, a lavender shirt, and removing the old tagline the logo became more vibrant.
Another before and after in my life that I’m proud of! May you reach your happier, better ‘after.’
Check out a poem from my pending-release Out of the Deep on the Poems page!
Logo designed by Fatima Sheikh, fatimasheikh164, fiverr.com
Thank God for Therapy
Timelines being lengthened. Deadlines passing by. Adjustment after adjustment after adjustment needing to be made. My heart rate is increasing as I write this because even thinking about my next book makes me anxious. I’m afraid of disappointing my readers, disappointing my family, disappointing myself, and really afraid of disappointment in general.
I put so much pressure on myself. An unhealthy coping mechanism I learned from childhood. This shit is deeply ingrained. Like, if I say I’m going to accomplish something by a certain time, I have to do it. Regardless of what life throws at me.
*Inhale…exhale*
Now, I’m leaning into my therapeutic coping mechanisms:
First of all, GIRL!, you were working 2 jobs and pulling 16 hour workdays for months in a row to make ends meet. You reworked your financial budget, cancelled your Mexico trip, and got serious about saving. You pay 1000% of your own shit. Rent, car note, electric, gas bill, etc. Everything! In a piss-poor economy where the price of gas, groceries, rent, is fucking skyrocketing. That’s some tough shit, yet you still do it.
Secondly, GIRL!, the past year has been rough. A lot of the content in this next book has to do with this past year. So, it’s understandable that some of it is hard to write about and some things may need to wait for another book. That is okay! There is plenty of writing to be done.
And lastly, GIRL!, you deal with mentally draining mental health diagnoses DAILY that make functioning through life difficult. You get out of bed, even when it feels like you can’t. You make shit happen, even when your mind only sees failure. Survivorhood looks good on you! And you will continue to push through.
*Inhale…exhale*
Thank God for therapy.
Photo by Stephen Harlan, @gogostevieGrown Woman
Now at 27, I am still young but also quite grown. I’m reaching a point in my mental and emotional maturity that feels great. I’m becoming more appreciative of my own company. And I notice that I’m less concerned about being in a relationship. I value human connection, but no longer crave the “extras” that come with it, like sex and affection. Which may seem astounding since I am a very affectionate and sexual person. I’ve always been someone who prioritizes genuine connection over sexual attraction, but at times I have rushed into a “situationship” out of loneliness. Even writing that makes me cringe. But you live and you learn.
As we move into the colder months of the year, aka “cuffing season” lol, my focus is on me and my poetry. I will continue to explore the connections I’ve made with other people and keep myself open to new connections, but I won’t force anything. If it waters me, I will nurture it. If it drains me, I will cut it off. Writing that makes me smile and I can hear my therapist saying “I know that’s right!” in my head. I’ve come too far in my healing and growth journey to go backwards for the sake of a man, woman, or person in general. Because I value my peace and I’m proud of the progress I’ve made. Cheers to self-love and grown womanhood.
New poem on the Poems page :)