Happy Anniversary!
One year ago, on March 14, 2022, I published my first poetry book. This book, If Tears Could Talk, will forever be my creative baby. The writing journey alone was an emotional rollercoaster. Some days I was self-confident and others I was caught up in self-doubt, but I pushed through the negativity to accomplish a life goal. And I am so, so elated to be able to say, “I did it!”
Join me in celebrating the one-year-anniversary of my first book! Yes, it is still for sale on Amazon. Click the button below to get a copy :)
Isolation Period
*Deep Sigh*
Let’s just say I’ve been careless with my feelings and my heart recently. I’ve gotten swept up in my emotions while ignoring the logic screaming in my face to run and get away from certain situations and certain people. I ask myself “Why the fuck do I do this?” to understand why I don’t give a fuck about my own feelings and risk my heart getting harmed every single time. Truth is, ever since the split from my ex-fiancé, I’ve been floating through spaces and absorbing the sunshine in them, even if only temporary, to escape the darkness I fear. But that bullshit is done. It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. More times than not, I am the one who is hurt. Fuck that. I’m taking a hiatus from dating, sex, and all things romance for a few months. I need to focus on my writing and pouring back into myself because so much has been taken from me. And I’m tired of being robbed.
Check out the Poems page for two new poems! Photo by Josh Nuttall, @jjnuttall
B’ham Trip
My trip to Birmingham, AL was a good one. I was there for about a week. Yet, with everything that was packed into that timeframe the time flew by. I traveled down there to meet a woman I was interested in dating. Although that part did not end up working out, I am grateful to her for showing me so many sites and taking me to get good coffee every day!
Days 1-2 we stayed local. I tried Cheesecake Factory for the first time and was very much impressed. The tiramisu cheesecake was definitely the highlight of the night. We went to the McWane Science Center and I loved the interactive exhibits. They reminded me of the interactive science museums I went to as a kid.
Day 3 we traveled to Montgomery, AL to visit the Legacy Museum and Memorial Gardens. This was the most impactful part of the trip. It was a day full of Black trauma, but the way the museum honored the lives of my ancestors and memorialized their legacy was beautiful. Incredibly done and very powerful. I learned so much more about enslavement, lynchings, and mass incarcerations. I recommend any and every one to make a trip to the Legacy Museum at some point. Check out the button at the bottom of this post for more information about the Legacy Museum! We ended the night with a drive in movie—my first drive in movie experience! It was pretty great.
We went to the MASSIVE Birmingham Botanical Gardens on Day 4 and wow! there was a lot to see. So many gardens within a garden. The greenery just went on for miles and miles. My favorite garden was the Japanese Garden because of the structures and huge pond in the middle. It was a beautiful day and I enjoyed wandering through nature. That evening we went out to dinner and stopped by a gay bar afterwards. Being in that gay space was another highlight of the trip. So much shade being thrown and laughter galore. I mean it when I say, I feel most at home with my queer family in spaces created for us <3
Back on the road again for Day 5. This time to Huntsville, AL to visit the Space & Rocket Center. We chopped it up with a rocket scientist for a while and got some firsthand insight to some of the challenges NASA and space engineers have faced over the the years. There was a little boy who was walking around in his blue spacesuit so excited that he graduated Space Camp! What an honor to be able to congratulate him on such an accomplishment! After the space museum we drove downtown to spend some time at Big Spring Park. This park was a sight to see! Beautiful grounds and lovely water features throughout the park. The picture in the bottom left of the collage is me on one of the bridges that expanded over an ever flowing river that runs through the heart of the park. Lastly, we went to The Vulcan in downtown B’ham to get experience the vantage point of the city. Since we went at night, we got to see the city’s skyline lit up in lights. What a vision! Oh—and we took the stairs up instead of the elevator. Got our exercise in, lol.
Day 6 was a lowkey day. We grabbed brunch at Flying Biscuit (S/O to Sage for the top tier flight of mimosas!), explored a local Tradarius Johnson’s (Trader Joe’s, lol), and visited some watering holes off the beaten path. It was tranquil out there by those watering holes. A serene scene of trees and water currents. We found some rocks to skip and spent some time just taking in the fresh air. Afterward, we stopped by a cat café, Gatos & Beans. Of course I had all the cats going crazy with a few toys. My favorite cat was Sally. She was a wild 10 month old kitten that reminded me of my booboo ShaQuay. If I could’ve taken her back home with me, I would’ve!
I really only had the morning of Day 7 to spend in the city before heading to the airport. We stopped to grab coffee at a coffee shop called Santos and the coffee was fantastic! I spent some time reflecting on the trip while waiting to board my flight. Although the ending was bittersweet, I enjoyed my stay and I’m glad I got to see so much in so few days.
There were more sites, food, and adventures mixed in the trip but I think this is a good synopsis of what I experienced.
Cheers to traveling in 2023!
Back to Myself
Looking back on my first released book, If Tears Could Talk, I was inspired to write again. This self-reflection led me to a deep-dive into vulnerability. A place I am no longer afraid to venture into with my poetry. Vulnerability is my everflowing creative spring. Once I tap into it, poetry flows out of me. The past 8 months have been some of the worst I’ve lived, from a mental and emotional point of view. But this time away has done me some good. It has given me a chance to find myself again and to write authentically. In a way, the separation I feared most relieved me in the best of ways.
I’m not just existing anymore, I’m living. Every day is not perfect, but I’m grateful for the fuck ups along the way. I’m just happy to be getting back to myself. May the writing never stop. Cheers.
Check out the Poems page for a new poem!
A New Story to Write
Wow. It’s been a while since I posted so I have some book updates and a life update to share. First, my book has done really well in terms of sales and overall reaction to the content. I have had overwhelming support from friends, family, and strangers alike. This whole experience has really helped me grow and it continues to inspire me to write book #2. I have many, many ideas for this next book but I haven’t decided on a theme just yet. You’ll have to stick around and wait for that ;)
Second, I am working on a project related to If Tears Could Talk that I’m hoping to have completed by the time book #2 is ready to be published (so around July 2023!). It’s a very exciting project and I wish I could say more about it, but I cannot ruin this surprise. I just can’t. Just stay tuned for updates I post on my social media and here on my blog.
Lastly, I am dealing with the worst time of my life. This is not an exaggeration, it’s my current reality. My best friend of 14 years, partner of 5 years, and fiancé of 1.5 years and I are no longer together. We are officially cutting ties so he can discover himself and figure out his path in life. As much as I am trying to be understanding of his need for self-discovery, I am also completely shattered and heartbroken. This is the person I proposed to and hoped to have a family with in the future. We were looking at houses, planning a wedding, and just looking forward to our forever future. Man, did forever come quick.
I’m cycling through many difficult emotions and unfortunately this is impacting my creative process and my ability to post on my blog so I appreciate your patience as I start this new, unexpected chapter in my life story. I know I’ll be okay, it’s just going to take time.
Check out the Poems page for a sample poem from book #2. It’s raining here today so the poem fits the vibe :)
Photo by Hello I’m Nik (@helloimnik) from the Unsplash photo database.